Countdown to 2017

This New Year's Eve let's skip the countdown to 2015. Nicole is "counting the days" to Election Day 2017. Now's the time to begin stockpiling campaign contributions (up to a max of $300).

2014 Wedgie Awards

The Wedgie Awards were a real thing. We're bringing them back.

At tonight's LHENA holiday party we'll be handing out trophies to some of the neighborhood's wackiest characters to honor their amazing performances in 2014. We're revealing the names of Wedgie recipients in advance on the blog, but don't tell the winners. And you should still come to the holiday party. I don't want to be the only transient turd in the punch bowl. That can get unbearably awkward.

The Great "Party Room" Rebellion of 2014

This movie is not about LHENA's
disastrous relationship with Basim Sabri.

As the year comes to a close, let's give a second viewing to a story that fell through the cracks.

The Channel 79 production of the September 30, 2014 Z&P Committee hearing only has 90-some views (it was a limited release). Still, it made an impression. Imagine it as a movie where a swarthily corrupt developer (a composite character loosely based on Michael Lander and Basim Sabri; played by Alfred Molina) proposes to construct rental housing at 2320 Colfax with few amenities. After a bunch of underwhelming speeches, it climaxes with William Wells (played by Sally Field) concealing MRRDC inside his burqa, and fleeing to the southern Wedge, where they find luxurious refuge and ample parking (in the party room at Flux). Here's the script.

Resignation Letter

Dear Task Force Leader/Board Member Bill,

After careful consideration and in consultation with loved ones, I’m formally resigning my position on the LHENAHDTF, effective noon tomorrow. For some of my colleagues this will come as a shock. For others, it will occur to them in three months, "Hey, whatever happened to that one guy?"

Real Stories of the LHENA Task Force: Vol. 3

This is not a picture of the LHENA development task force.

This month's Lowry Hill East Neighborhood Association Housing & Development Task Force (LHENAHDTF) was sparsely attended. Were these the death-throes of a LHENA sub-committee? Either way, this is likely our last Task Force Report (more on that in a future post).

Violence Against Houses

It can be hard for carpetbaggers to understand the special relationship between the Wedge's long-time residents and certain neighborhood buildings. It's a forbidden love; the house belongs to someone other than the love-struck neighbor, and a deep affection only materializes when the owner finds another suitor. To help me understand this dynamic, I spend an absurd amount of time poring over old newspaper articles. As an example of my ignorance, when I came upon the headline, RAPE IN THE WEDGE, I just assumed it wasn't a weirdly offensive metaphor for perceived crimes against houses (sorry, I gave away the surprise ending).

Unpermitted Rehab

EDIT #2: To delve further into the drama of 2320 Colfax, see our timeline.

EDIT: Some background for those who aren't closely following Wedge neighborhood drama. Last week, Nicole Curtis had a Facebook freakout, distributed to her 500,000 fans, over the removal of siding on a house located at 2316 Colfax (in preparation for demolition). Nicole is an HGTV personality who remodels homes all over Minneapolis. She's also the celebrity friend of the Wedge's collection of anti-density activists (MRRDC, Healy Project, Team Tuthill, etc). She's been especially critical of a plan to demolish the houses at 2316 and 2320 Colfax to make way for an apartment building. If you have a house vigil, she'll bring a camera crew. She says things like, "Uptown needs another apartment building like a hole in the head." 

Everyone and their mother was having Fred Sanford-style heart attacks last week over the Wedge's most notorious homeowner, Mike Crow, doing work (let's call it "de-hab") on 2316 Colfax without a weekend permit. It got me thinking that I could make a name for myself, and graduate from fake journalist to nosy neighbor, by taking down a permit scofflaw.