Saturday, December 19, 2015

Excerpt from My Forthcoming Tell-All E-Book

Year's end means it's time to clear out the draft folder on my blogspot. There were many times this year when I felt compelled to write a post, took the time to actually write it, but couldn't pull the trigger. The following excerpt is from a draft entitled "Orthghazi II: The Screenshotting." Written around the time of the 2320 Colfax demolition, it's a tell-all about my experiences before and after writing this post. But I named too many names, and left it to languish. Until now.

***
Written in March of 2015.

Feb 24, 9:35 AM: The first photo of the demolition of 2320 Colfax is Tweeted. I hustle to the site for pictures and video. Healy Project people are already there.
Feb 25, 6:00 PM: Nicole Curtis posts a series of Facebook statements about the demolition. She coins the phrase "Lisa Bender lied, the Orth died." No one can articulate what Bender is supposed to have lied about. Over the course of three posts in 24 hours, clueless commenters piece together that Council Member Lisa Bender is the very corrupt, suspiciously liberal, Mayor or Congressman responsible for this crime against house-manity.


Feb 26, 1:22 PM: I try desperately to stay out of the Facebook cesspool. This causes domestic strain for @WedgeLIVE, as revealed in this social media conversation with @WedgePAL.


Feb 27, afternoon: I finally read some of Curtis' posts and the comments underneath. Despite being long-ago desensitized to over-the-top Bender-bashing, it's remarkably horrifying. I immediately get to screenshotting.

Feb 27, 4:13 PM: I press publish, anticipating the usual small audience for my groundbreaking screenshot journalism. 

Feb 27, 5:06 PM: The post is very quickly the most viewed thing ever on the site. It dawns on me that I live in a neighborhood full of hardcore Rehab Addicts. I flashback to the time an unhappy reader sent me a 12-page PDF of my Tweets lifted off a website called TweetTunnel.com.

Panicked DM sent from @WedgeLIVE.

Feb 27, evening: Curtis uploads a rant to YouTube.

Feb 28, 3:10 PM: While out on assignment, I receive a tip via Twitter DM. It's from @WedgeLADY.


Feb 28, 3:38 PM: In the comments, [name redacted] is expressing displeasure with Mayor Hodges for sharing my blog post (comment since deleted). The responsible resident tags a Nicole Curtis employee into the conversation. Curtis' North Minneapolis rehab posse begins speaking with authority about the alleged "bullying" tactics I use against [organization redacted].

News tips/screenshots via DM were all the rage in early 2015.

Mar 1: WCCO and KMSP run stories about a Hodges-Curtis feud.


Mar 3: I get the Smoley treatment at healyproject.org. There is no missile silo deep enough, or fourth-ring suburb far enough, to protect me from the wrath of Trilby.

March 5, afternoon: Local Healy fans are all over my demolition video. I resist the urge to take it down.

Mar 5, 8:41 PM: Nicole Curtis shares my video with her Facebook fans. I won't learn of this until hours later.

Mar 5, around 9:00 PM: After a day of watching the local Healy crew salivate over my demolition video, I sacrifice some journalistic integrity and make it private. This is done purely to spite those who've been calling me a bullying, senior-bashing, single-mom-threatening racist. The joy they got from using my video to complain about airborne debris was too much to bear. As a result, @WedgeLIVE becomes another piece of the Orthghazi conspiracy.


Was the Orth demo faked? I'll never tell.

Mar 5, 10:58 PM: Nicole Curtis calls me a racist.

I'm also the real carjacker.
Mar 5, 11:31 PM: I remain unaware of Curtis' re-posting of my video, until one of her rabid fans sends me a hilarious late-night text.

Who knew my mom reads Twitter?

March 6, 7:20 AM: Curtis fan "Kelli" posts a shaky pirated copy of my demo video recorded from a computer screen. In retaliation, I record a much shakier video of her shaky video of my original video.


Mar 6, 11:36 AM: The source of the racism allegation (and of 12 pages of PDF'd Tweets) is telling tales in the Strib comment section. If anyone knows the whereabouts of the allegedly violent Ivy Leaguer, I'd love to hear his side of the story.